It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize