I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
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My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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