So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
