I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
