This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oh god it's open bar.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
