did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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