he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
