Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
