direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
