this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize