We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
