dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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