For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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