we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
