What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize