We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
