so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
