I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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