I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
