i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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