Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
