guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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