We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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