Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
