Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so explain again why im purple
no
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hippo gnu deer
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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