that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
