When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
