I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
