Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
