my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
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He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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