GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
