i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
