Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
