I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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