awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
