I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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