i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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