would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
