My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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