We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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