we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
