Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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