thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
are you so shy because you have an std?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
