why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
im holly from the hills drunk
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
