I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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