I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
