Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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