It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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