i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
