well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
