'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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