worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
