Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
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I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
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Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have fence marks all over my body
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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