I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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