No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
