i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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