dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
please come you make the beer taste better
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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