I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
