I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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