You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
