i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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